


.

by theangelicstoryteller



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 14:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangelicstoryteller/pseuds/theangelicstoryteller





	.

You're still stomping away from him even though he's far behind you. The hallway of the meteor echoes your loud steps back to you, not letting you forget the surly face that made you so mad. 

Oooh, you just can't stand him sometimes! So finfuriating! So fucking unbereefable! So –

"Going somewhere?"

You spin around and see Karkat leaning on the wall outside of a respite block. "What's on your thinkpan?" he asks casually, but you can't answer. You only stare at him, still angry and huffing, not able to get your words out. He pushes the door next to him and waits for you to enter it. "More ex-moirail problems?" he asks like he already knows as you two walk in.

"He just won't quit!" you nearly shout as you flop with all the grace of an heiress onto the cushions of a wide chair. You sink into the seat and instantly become calmer, even if you don't want to. It's just so hard to be mad in a seat like this. But you keep your arms and legs crossed and continue your rant. "Every time he sees Sollux and me together he has to try and start somefin! Every coddamn time! I can't even be in the same room with him anemonemore!"

Karkat has settled into the couch across from you. He's looking at you with surprisingly patient eyes, but then again, he is reely good with this stuff. He just stares at you for a second before he says, "You know this wouldn't have happened if you had just let me be his moirail in the first place."

"I know, I know," you say, uncrossing your arms, "but I didn't want you to have to deal with that."

"I told you that it would be fine!"

"I know!" you almost yell, sitting up straight. "But you're a land-dweller, and I don't think he would have listened to you. That's why I thought it would be best to stay as his moirail!"

He opens his mouth to argue with you more, but you give him your best empress glare and he lets it drop. "At least you have a decent moirail now," he says instead.

You smile at him as you get up and sit next to him on the couch. You wrap your arms around his neck as you say "Yep! Sollux is a reely good moirail too! We have such nice chats in the horn pile. And he said last time that he thought that our matespritship was a good one!"

"Yeah, Sollux isn't always an asshole. He's sometimes a good troll."

"Would you say he's an asshole…" you begin.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Karkat warns you, jumping up.

"Half of the time?!" you finish loudly

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" Karkat goes off and you laugh. Ahhh, this was always your favorite thing to do.

He's getting ready to launch into one of his incredibly pointless rants, so you grab his jaw and angle his face toward yours. Before he can say anything, you shove your mouth on his. As you press your black lips against his, warmth floods into your mouth. You wonder what it's like for him, since you're blood being so much cooler than his. Your breath, your tongue that slides across his, must feel so much less intimate, you think, though you surely hope that this isn't the case.

He instantly loses track of whatever he was going to say and he wraps his arms around you instead as he returns the kiss. It's a moment later when you have to catch your breath that he finally does speak. "Feferi," is all he murmurs against your lips, making you smile. You love it when he says your name like that, all needy and soft.

You kiss him again, running your tongue along his to show your appreciation. He moans a little and it makes your smile lengthen. "Yes, crabdaddy?" you nearly purr at him. 

"I love you," he says, his voice thick with emotion.

"I love you too," you murmur back, nestling into his neck. "I love you too, Krabcake."

-***-

Shit, shit, shit! You think as you run through the meteor's hallways. You have to find everyone. Tavros is dead and you have to make sure everyone doesn't end up like that poor idiot. Vriska may decide to kill more people, and that's the last fucking thing you need.

You run onto a transporter and it zaps you into the main computer room. They all should be here, right?

You couldn't have been more wrong. 

You zap into the room and see Eridan screaming at Sollux. Before you can say anything, they start fucking blasting each other. With wide, horror-struck eyes, you stare as the beams of white and red and blue collide. White science blows through psionics, propelling Sollux into the far wall with a thud. 

Time seems to slow as you watch Feferi run to Sollux. She rushes towards Eridan, but you hear her scream of rage slowly. Your thoughts lag; Feferi seems to run in slow-motion towards Eridan as if to embrace him joyously on a beach like in nearly every shitty romcom you've ever watched. You see his wand release blinding light, but you don’t understand, you can't understand, as the beam shoots through her chest.

You don't understand as he turns and shoots at Kanaya, but misses. Why did he miss? Oh, there’s your thinkpan. You think it’s about time that asshole showed up. It's then that you understand that Eridan just killed Feferi. Grief rocks you, nearly yanks you to the floor, but your legs are already locked in place. That's the only thing that keeps you from bashing your face on the floor. It registers with you that Eridan has destroyed the matriorb, and soon Kanaya falls to the floor, anger in her expression and a hole blown through her middle.

And Eridan is long gone by the time you regain the ability to shut your gaping mouth.

You drop to your knees next to Kanaya. You reach out a hand tentatively. "Kanaya?" you ask softly. Because she can't be dead. There's – there's just no way!

"Kanaya, are you okay?" you ask, waiting for a response. "Hey," you say, still waiting for her.

Oh god, you think. What has he done?! "Kanaya?" you ask yet again. "Please tell me that's just grub sauce."

Please tell me that's just grub sauce, please tell me that's just grub sauce, please tell me that's just grub sauce, you chant in your head.

"Haha!" you force from your throat-- a mock laugh that hurts your middle. "Okay, make-believe is over!" you tell her and try to shake her out of it.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.

Red starts to blur your vision as you accept that it isn't grub sauce. KISS HER! your mind screams at you. MAYBE SHE CAN BE REVIVED!

Of course she can't be revived, her dreamself is dead. Maybe you were better off without this defected thinkpan with the shitty ideas. But you have to try anyway. For her. The tears starting flowing down your face as you gently pick Kanaya up and kiss her.

Nothing. Of course nothing happens.

You gingerly lay her down again, your tears falling on her chest. But you don't let yourself mourn for her yet. You have to check on the others.

You jump up, making sure not to disturb Kanaya, though she can't fucking care anymore. You walk over to Sollux and you're relieved when you see he is not dead. He is merely KO'd. Which is good, because you don't think you could handle it if this was round two of seeing your good bro getting killed.

You hear Kanaya's computer ding and your head turns toward it automatically. In the corner of your eye, you notice, your mind finally being forced to remember, that there was a fourth witness to Eridan's breakdown.

You turn toward the horn pile and see her face. "Feferi?" you call hoarsely. You stare stupidly at her, wondering what she could possibly be looking at on the ceiling. Even though you will your eyes not to look, you see the gaping hole in her chest, as well as all the fuchsia blood around her. 

In a haze of scarlet tears, you stumble over to her. "Feferi?" you ask again, your voice thick with grief and disbelief. "Feferi?!" you nearly shriek as you fall into the horn pile, deaf to the cacophony of honks that erupt around you.

Dead. Dead dead dead dead dead. The word echoes around in your skull like the buzzing of angered stingcreatures. Though that single word hurts more than a swarm of those creatures ever could.

"Feferi?" you ask, one last time, as you gently lift her off the horn pile. More honks bounce off of you as you stare into her grey eyes. You remember how her fuchsia blood had been starting to stain those eyes, but now all the color had spilled unto the steely floor and the horn pile beneath her.

Once again in denial, you gently lean down, and, for the last time, you kiss her cool black lips. You think about how she still feels alive, not even having cooled more past her usual cool temperature.

She's dead, you finally realize. She's dead, and she can't come back.

The grief, the loss, the towering pain finally plows into you. Beside yourself, the scarlet tears running down your cheeks. You cradle her to your chest, rocking back and forth, as your cracked sobs drown out the honks. You start to rock harder, faster and sob louder as your thoughts run over and over with what's going on around you.

You have now lost both Kanaya and Feferi in one go. He tried to kill Sollux, but when he failed to do that, he blew fucking holes in Kanaya, one of the greatest trolls you ever knew, and Feferi, sweet, sweet, strong Feferi.

You want to scream and cry and just hold Feferi until Eridan comes back and kills you too. But you think of Sollux, hurt and unconscious. He needs you. Your team needs you. So you swallow your screams and grief and gently lay Feferi down again. You kiss her lips one more time before you get up. You don't look at her again.

You have a job to do.


End file.
